thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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