his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
