He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
