Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
