Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
