He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
