Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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