Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
