You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have tasted many bathrooms
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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