I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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