You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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