Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize