This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
