If that was your dad, he is hot
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
