I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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