she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
