I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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