Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
