how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
