The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
