on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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