remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
