You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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