i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
