News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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