Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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