YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
