Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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