I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
