At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
