just tell him i said nine months
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
