I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
