im having a threesome with these popsicles
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
