I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
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Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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