I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
