The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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