So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
