i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
