I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm too high and old for this...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize