Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
