So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
