I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
