Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
