We won't sleep together?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
