I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
