I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
