I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Four minutes until I can fart!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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