Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
