Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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