I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
