so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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