puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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