drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
