oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
