$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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