So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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