My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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