Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
