checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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