Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
