But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
