Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
