Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
